CT Scan

I'm claustrophobic. I can't breathe in tight spaces. I never liked being in an elevator full of people. My breath begins to shorten, it feels as if the world is closing in on me. It was no different from the feeling I had when I had to do my CT Scan.I went to the hospital a few days ago for a brain CT scan.

Yes, my friends. Though I hate saying it, I am deteriorating bit by bit, and I'm sad to say I have started feeling the symptoms already. I already prepared myself for anything negative that my doctor was going to say, and I'm happy I did. "...it is obvious to us that your cyst is still there...but your braincell count has decreased quite much..."

I knew it was coming.

"Let me put it to you this way. The more things you think of, the more braincells you use up. Meaning...when you are under stress or if you are awake most of the time, your braincells die little by little..."

Please tell me something I don't already know and feel.

"The more worries, problems...and the more you are often exposed to radiation from electronic devices, the faster you make yourself exhausted,the faster you burn yourself out...this can be fatal once this is prolonged."

Doctor...I work three jobs...one as a writer...the second as a graphic artist and the third as a marketer....I need my computer for my work. I sit in front of it more than 10 hours six days a week. It's like telling a painter not to use paint brushes, or a musician prevented from using musical notes. So...it means one thing. I am dying. at 22 years old.

I haven't even accomplished anything yet. Except for surviving death twice. Other than that I still can't recall something I know I can be proud of for being myself. What does a Kym Darvin matter to the world anyway? Who would have ever thought? I mean, I knew I was sick long ago since I was 15...but for it to come to THIS point. I thought I was just tired. I didn't know. But now I do. Thanks for the tip, doc.