A Martyr, I Have Become

As there is the sun for the moon
A flower for the bountiful soil
A drop of tear for every eye
A picture to paint for every artist
There is a martyr for an angel.

As there are lyrics for every song
A word for every story
A sound to break the silence
Companionship to end the solitude
There is a martyr for an angel.

As there is light for utmost darkness
Color for all the black and white
As there is sweetness for the bitter
As there is forgiveness for the unforgiven
There is a martyr for every angel.

As there is warmth for the cold
Freedom for the held back
As there is guidance for the lost
A lesson for every student
There is a martyr for an angel.

As there is assurance for the weary
A drop of water for every thirst
As there is a morsel for every hunger
A cure for every sickness
There is a martyr for an angel.

The martyr wonders when she will be granted of her plea
Don't wait until everything is gone before you see
Let not so many broken promises she will have to endure
Before you take her in your arms with her love so pure.

Before it is gone, be the sunlight to her life
Symbolize the flower she toiled hard to protect
Let every tear that falls from her eyes be of laughs from you
Become the perfect picture she had always wished to draw
Realize how much of a martyr she is for you.

Let her make your name every lyric for her every song
Let her make your name every word of her every story
Become the sound that will break the silence of her mind
Let her be with you when she is with no one
Realize how much of a martyr she is for you.

Before it is over, become the light of her life
The color that will forever change her perception
Let her embrace you with all sweetness when you are at your lowest
Let her forgive those who continue to doubt you
Realize how much of a martyr she is for you.

Become her beloved warmth when she is cold
Be her freedom, her happiness, her dearest
Guide her when she is lost
Become her most prized lesson as she grows with you
Realize how much of a martyr she is for you.

Before she leaves, be her assurance when her heart is weary
Become the solution to her thirst for purpose
Satisfy her hunger in finding her life's meaning
Become her cure even if she can never be healed
Realize how much of a martyr she has become for you.

Love Not Just the Love But the Lover

Love not the eyes but the look they give,
Love not the skin but the touch it brings
Love not the voice but the sound it makes,
Love not the kiss but the affection it carries
Love not the embrace but the safety it implies.

Love not the touch but the sincerity it means
Love not the words but the truth they carry
Love not the presence but the existence it proves
Love not the laughter but the mirth it brings
Love not the hugs but the passion they embody.

Love not the frown but the sadness that proves them real
Love not the tears but how they fall from their cheek
Love not the times when he puts his head on your shoulder but the trust he has that brings him to do so
Love not his cries but the authenticity of his feelings
Love not his mind but the thoughts of you that make him in love with you.

Love not the times when he forbids to do things but his sense of protectiveness for you
Love not the times when he says no but the times that shows how much he cares
Love not the times when you bicker and fight but the times that prove you have complimenting ideas
Love not the many times he says he loves you, but the many times he means every word.
Love not the many times he says he cares for you, but the many times he does little things to show you how it is so.

Love not the way he asks if you're okay, but the way he worries when you are ill.
Love not the way he loves you the same despite the distance, but how he tries to bridge that distance
Love not the times he tells you of his stories, but the tremendous trust he has on you to let you hear them
Love not the way you met but how far you have come since then
Love not what already is, but what can be.

Love not the way he says your name, but the sense of longing that shows every time he does
Love not the many times you make him smile, but how the smile streaks across his face
Love not the many times he calls, but how he sounds when he hears your voice
Love not his mind but his heart,
Love not just his soul, but his spirit as well.

Invisible Hulk

Sometimes it makes me wonder, why I am always so different from others, everything always seems to go the way they always plan it without even having to lift a finger. When I look at other women, I see these beautiful tall girls with slender figures, men at their disposal. A blessing in a complete package, you may say. But I never see myself as such. XD I know it's crazy. But hey, I'm a media arts graduate, I have the right to be crazy. Hahaha!

When I was young, I was never the type that was into boys. Yes, I had many guy friends, but never a boyfriend. I even remember the looks on the faces of those girls back in early high school whenever the guys always approached me to talk. Most of the time, it is about videogames. What can I say? It's not because I choose to flirt. God, I don't even HAVE the guts to flirt because I always thought of myself as "not good enough". I was a low-profiler. Still am actually. It was for the most innocent reason of growing up without a sister. So the person I found myself growing up with and being influenced by was my older brother.

My mother would ask me, when I had grown a chest and lost my baby fats (hehehe), about boys. I can only tell her of my friends, and the ocassional couple of suitors who I thought were crazy enough to even like me. But never of any serious relationships. I never saw it as a necessity when I was growing. My friends were into guys, the typical crushes, admiration of boybands (we all had our versions), but it always made me wonder...What WILL it be like when that time ever does come for me...although it unlikely will?

I love stories. I never saw having a relationship as a necessity because I was raised by old fashioned parents. But ironically, I used to read a lot of love stories. I guess I was contented with the sense of wonder. I always wondered...

"Heck...Mary Jane keeps pushing Peter Parker away not knowing he is Spider Man."

"Lois Lane never freaking recognizes Clark Kent as Superman with his thick black-rimmed glasses on."

"The Silver Surfer can't be with the one he loves because he needs to keep serving in order to spare her."

"Rogue can't kiss her freaking boyfriend because she'll suck the life out of him if she ever does."

"Cyclops can't look at Jean Grey without his head gear because he'll melt her to death if he takes it off."

"Bruce Banner can't keep himself from turning into a green monster without Betty Ross keeping him sane."

Lo and behold, one unlikely person decides to cross paths with mine and decided to change my life, my perception of myself and gain appreciation for people like him. It has been a year yet I have never seen his face with my own eyes. However, he continues to change my days the best way I could have ever imagined anyone could.


But sometimes I wish I was like Mary Jane...for the simple reason that she gets to hang out with Peter Parker and needs not to worry of the increasing number of people doubting if he is real. Because everyone knows he is. Not only is Peter Parker a friend during the day and a guardian at night. She gets to lie down beside him and give her undivided time to listen to his stories, of how simple yet adventurous his life has become, not only in pursuit of her but with how his life has changed since then.

Sometimes I wish I was like Lois Lane...for the simple reason that she can see his awkwardness and still appreciate him for it when he is not in his super hero form. Because she gets to spend time with him at work and have someone to continually watch over her. He flies to her aid when she is in need. Forever a friend, a protector and a lover. Sometimes I wish I was her, because she sees the sense of tenderness in his eyes when he looks into hers...



But most of the time, I wish I was like Betty Ross...not only for the simple reason that she gets to work and be with Bruce almost every day of her life, but she is there...to remind him that she finds him beautiful no matter how frightening he can get when he transforms. She is not afraid to be near him, no matter what the form, she has the freedom to run the back of her hand on his cheek....to watch him fall asleep and be there when he is in pain.

She is there to remind him that the world's perception of his physicality does not matter, because he knows that she knows who he really is inside. She is there to level his fears, to help with his frustrations, to be there when he needs her.












He is my truest friend...my guardian angel...my fictionally true SpiderMan...my unseen SuperMan...my Invisible Hulk

CT Scan

I'm claustrophobic. I can't breathe in tight spaces. I never liked being in an elevator full of people. My breath begins to shorten, it feels as if the world is closing in on me. It was no different from the feeling I had when I had to do my CT Scan.I went to the hospital a few days ago for a brain CT scan.

Yes, my friends. Though I hate saying it, I am deteriorating bit by bit, and I'm sad to say I have started feeling the symptoms already. I already prepared myself for anything negative that my doctor was going to say, and I'm happy I did. "...it is obvious to us that your cyst is still there...but your braincell count has decreased quite much..."

I knew it was coming.

"Let me put it to you this way. The more things you think of, the more braincells you use up. Meaning...when you are under stress or if you are awake most of the time, your braincells die little by little..."

Please tell me something I don't already know and feel.

"The more worries, problems...and the more you are often exposed to radiation from electronic devices, the faster you make yourself exhausted,the faster you burn yourself out...this can be fatal once this is prolonged."

Doctor...I work three jobs...one as a writer...the second as a graphic artist and the third as a marketer....I need my computer for my work. I sit in front of it more than 10 hours six days a week. It's like telling a painter not to use paint brushes, or a musician prevented from using musical notes. So...it means one thing. I am dying. at 22 years old.

I haven't even accomplished anything yet. Except for surviving death twice. Other than that I still can't recall something I know I can be proud of for being myself. What does a Kym Darvin matter to the world anyway? Who would have ever thought? I mean, I knew I was sick long ago since I was 15...but for it to come to THIS point. I thought I was just tired. I didn't know. But now I do. Thanks for the tip, doc.

Brandy's Long Distance

There`s only so many songs that i can sing to pass the time.
And i`m running out of things to do to get you off my mind.
All i have is this picture in a frame,
That i hold close to see your face everyday.

With you is where i`d rather be,
But we`re stuck where we are.
It`s so hard, you`re so far..
This long distance is killing me.
I wish that you are here with me,
But we`re stuck where we are
It`s so hard, you`re so far..
This long distance is killing me.

It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far.
This long distance is killing me.
It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far
This long distance is killing me.

Now the minutes feel like hours
And the hours feel like days..
While i`m away
You know right now i can`t be home
But i`m coming home soon
Coming home soon..
All i have is this picture in a frame,
That i hold close to see your face everyday.

With you is where i`d rather be
But we`re stuck where we are.
It`s so hard, you`re so far..
This long distance is killing me.
I wish that you are here with me,
But we`re stuck where we are
It`s so hard, you`re so far..

Can you hear me crying?

With you is where i`d rather be
so hard, so far
this long distance is killing me
I wish that you are here with me..
but we`re stuck where we are...so hard...so far
This long distance is killing me

It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far.
This long distance is killing me.
It`s so hard, it`s so hard, where we are, where we are, you`re so far
This long distance is killing me.

There`s only so many songs that i can sing to pass the time.