Tired

I fear many things. I fear death, rejection, failure, solitude, and anger. I was never the strong person. I break down easily. These days I can no longer sleep properly. It is affecting my health and my mentality. I got a job not even one month into jobhunting. I thought this would be my dream job finally. But I was mistaken.

I love to write about personal experiences. I love to write about Life and Love. When I applied as writer to a certain company whose name I will no longer mention, I thought I was finally starting the life I have always wanted to live. Instead, they use my diploma to their advantage and gradually changed my job description from a writer to a graphic artist...and apparently these days, I am also now a marketer, as I have been told by my superior to be the one to look for merchants for this company and be the one to follow up on them.

If it was up to me alone, I would have quit. I applied as a writer not only because I like to write. This was my chance to fulfill a childhood dream. I have always wanted to be a creative writer...not a creative artist/ marketer. I feel so exhausted just thinking of it. Seeing what I have to do as a full-blown multitasker all the more makes me physically exhausted too.

This is what I have always loved to do. I just want to be able to write. T_T